Studies reveal that caregiving can lead to feelings of entrapment, obligation, social isolation, guilt, uncertainty, and loss of independence. Do any of these feelings sound familiar?
If you have experienced any of those emotions, this may be one of the most important messages you will ever receive in your life. It was for me and I hope it could be the same for you.
Caregiving, for me, happened gradually. It all started when my husband’s health declined. As time passes, a gradual process with his physical and mental changes has been fluctuating. Even though he is still fairly independent, he needs someone to monitor him with tasks such as banking, transport, shopping, and housing.
I took the responsibility of providing the care as I am the only person to take the caring role, not as a choice, but I felt it was my duty to do so.
I do my best to offer him comfort, encouragement, and reassurance. I am attentive to his health, wellbeing, and safety. I help him stay as an independent person to enjoy a good quality of life.
Perhaps the most difficult thing is that the support we provide as carers is not obvious to those around us. Family and friends can underestimate the time and energy we spend caring, especially when the help we provide is not physical.
CHANGE OF LIFE
I have often put the needs of my husband before my own needs. I have been his caretaker for over 4 years.
Taking care of someone day in and day out can be stressful. During those years, I have had a mixture of negative emotions. I lost motivation in my caring role, which led me to unhappiness and unfulfilment in my personal life that I would have ever imagined.
Two years ago, my husband had a total hip replacement operation, and even though the operation was successful, he has made little progress with his walking and he has regular discomfort with his back. He has also developed Macular Degeneration on his left eye, making it difficult for him to have a clear vision.
Our relationship has also changed over the years. Gone are the days of past fun and happiness. And even though we are still close, it is different somehow.
I am in charge of all the household and administrative chores; I plan everyday activities. When I plan something different for the day, I make sure he knows in advance to avoid him getting stressed out. I try to stick to his routine, which comprises checking the news and watching television.
As a result, we have become socially isolated. Our everyday roles, responsibilities, and plans for the future are entirely up to me.
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~ Dodinsky
My culture taught me we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs – otherwise, we would be arrogant or self-centred.
So when the feelings of stress, guilt, and unfulfilment came up, I buried them. I often felt reluctant to express these negative feelings for fear of hurting my husband and the judgement of others.
But I realised that if I didn’t deal with these emotions, they would keep pulling me until I stop and acknowledge them. That was when I knew that something had to change.
THE MOMENT OF REALISATION
This caring role was robbing me from being the wife I wanted to be. It was causing a negative impact on our marriage. Also, it was creating a negative effect on my husband.
I felt I was losing myself, becoming stressed, and slipping into a mild depression. I didn’t like the person I was becoming.
I knew that I couldn’t change my situation, but I could accept it and make the most of it. I needed to find something that gave some meaning to my life while providing financial independence for me and my family.
I wanted to find something that I could do without neglecting my caring role. Going back to get a degree, spending a fortune and ending up working in a traditional job was not an option.
Starting a traditional business was not an alternative either. My father built a successful traditional business, but he hardly spent time with us. Now that my brother is running it, the story repeats itself. He doesn’t have much time with his family and cannot get away from the business.
Time and flexibility were important, but my dream was to find meaning in life. Something that would empower not only my life and also the lives of countless people with my work.
So I started looking online for the answer. I wanted to become a happier person, more confident, more in tune with who-I-am. I started watching videos on YouTube and reading books to find inspiration from Abraham-Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, Gay Hendricks, Bashar, and Richard Rudd.
Over time, their teachings made more sense to me. It began with me looking at my beliefs. What resonated with me the most was when those authors said you can become the person you want to be.
I remember reading: “Are You feeling good all the time?” “Are you taking the big leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?”
My answer was a resounding NO. I was letting my fears and lack of confidence stop me from taking the big leap.
After two failures in the past, I had doubts about starting over, only this time, after being involved in personal growth, I knew it was time to make the change.
All those authors tell us it is never too late to pursue our dreams. We only need to learn the skills and apply what we learn to achieve the desired results.
The only thing they say that is stopping us is our fears and limiting beliefs. Once we confront and face them, we will become more powerful and resilient than we think.
MAKING A COMMITMENT
One night, while I was looking for more motivational videos, a YouTube message came up that caught my attention. Landria talked about changing your life and following your dreams if you want to live a better life.
She talked about her work in investment banking with no freedom, working long hours and living a stressful life. She left her job to build an online business from home.
Landria enrolled in an educational and coaching platform that teaches people with no prior experience how to take the first steps in building an online business through affiliate marketing and eCommerce.
I knew nothing about affiliate marketing, but what I learned is that it is a simple concept. You promote another business’s products. All you have to do is learn how to market online and present the company’s product you are selling to the potential customer by placing ads on websites such as Google, Facebook, YouTube, etc.
I did a lot of research and I found that many businesses around the world offer an affiliate program where they will pay a commission to the affiliate (the person promoting other people’s (or company’s) products). It is a booming and fast-growing industry, with companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Walmart, and Shopify all leading their own programs.
eCommerce is another popular option. Many people who lack experience with an online or traditional business can also learn through the educational program eCommerce business model.
Think about this compared to going into business the traditional way where you would have massive startup costs such as rent, inventory, employees, equipment, web development, etc. In addition, if you open a traditional brick-and-mortar store, you are tied to the location and restricted to the number of people you can serve.
I got very excited about the possibilities of learning how to build an online business, so I joined the educational program straightaway.
WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?
After two failures, I gave up on my dreams, which were leading me to an unhappy and unfulfilling life. I realised I couldn’t afford to waste any more time.
If you are anything like me and you have reached the point where you no longer want to sacrifice your dreams, your own well-being and happiness, I want to tell you you have options and you can take advantage of them.
Put your name and email address into the form on this webpage, and you will get instant access to our Brand New On-Demand Online Workshops FREE.
You’ll get value-packed information that so many people have used to change a better way that offers them the ability to live on their terms.
If you have no interest in pursuing your dreams with an online business, you can unsubscribe at any time with a click of a button and we can part as friends.
You will receive with these three workshops more information about the different business paths, education, and mentoring that is available to anyone who wants to take the first step towards building an online business.
ARE YOU READY TO BUILD YOUR DREAM? ARE YOU READY TO HAVE YOUR DREAM BUILD YOU?
I believe we all deserve to live our ideal day, every day, become the person we want to be, and create the life we want to create. It just comes down to taking that next step. Besides, you have nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain.
I’ll see you on the other side…
To Your Success,